As a sometimes journalist, I receive emails from publicists multiple times a day. Most of the time, they don’t interest me. However, I found this one noteworthy. In it Mcgowan offers insight into her friendship with Argento while denouncing her actions with/ against a 17-year-old boy.  She strikes the right tone reminding us all that the #metoo movement is more important than ever, particularly in light of these revelations.

When the story broke about Asia Argento’s relationship with a 17-year-old boy, my husband had one thing to say, “Those who are preyed upon often become predators themselves.” He meant that if anything, Argento’s seduction of an underage person proves she was a victim of Harvey Weinstein’s and does not, as Conservative Media opines, nullify her claims.

Growing up I knew boys of the same age who had been involved with older women. They were proud of it. They felt it made them men. I truly wondered what the difference was between girls who were seduced by men and boys who were seduced by women. At the time, no one talked about it.

Thankfully, as far as the law is concerned, nothing–which is what the #metoo movement is all about. Anyone can be a victim and anyone can be a predator. Regardless of what many may debate, boys and girls are different. Boys mature sexually before girls. They’re less emotional. They can’t be damaged in the same ways…The law in this country disagrees.  (The age of consent in the U.K, is 16. Another debate for another day.)

Whether Weinstein’s abuse of Argento influenced her decision to have a sexual relationship with an underaged boy may be something for the courts to decide. One thing is certain, Mcgowan’s observations are correct, while the boy in question solicited Argento with nude photos of himself starting at the age of 12, she allowed them to continue, and by doing so, she preyed upon his vulnerability. We are just as guilty for what we do not do as for what we do.

The law exists not just to protect the young from predators, but to protect them from themselves. 12 is too young to understand a single action’s ramifications, too young to know the far-reaching damage a too early sexual encounter can cause. Who doesn’t remember their first sexual encounter? And who doesn’t understand, now upon much reflection, how much it impacts all the rest that follow.

Email from Rose:

I would first of all like to start off this statement saying thank you for your patience. A lot of people have been demanding answers and a response to the recent events surrounding Asia Argento’s sexual assault case. Many people believe that because we have been close in each other’s lives over the past year that perhaps I am affiliated with this incident or being complicit. I am not.

I first met Asia on a red carpet, but it’s only been the past year through our shared experience of the HW case that we have bonded. Asia was a person who understood my trauma in a way that many others didn’t. We were able to talk through them together and champion each other’s voices. We even got matching dot tattoos! Something I had posted on my IG just about a month ago. It’s no secret to anyone that Im a blunt, candid, brazen individual vocally- and I think that’s what I really related to Asia the most with. They were edgy, confrontational, and strong willed with very little care about how much other’s liked or disliked them. Rare things to find in women in this industry or the world. 

 But then everything changed. In an instant. I received a phone call and series of messages from the being I’ve been dating- Rain Dove. They said that they had been texting with Asia and that Asia had revealed that she had indeed slept with Jimmy Bennet. Rain also shared that Asia had stated that she’d been receiving unsolicited nudes of Jimmy since he had been 12. Asia mentioned in these texts that she didn’t take any action on those images. No reporting to authorities, to the parents, or blocking of Jimmy’s social media. Not even a simple message “Don’t send me these images. They are inappropriate.” There were a few other details revealed as well that I am not at liberty to mention in this statement as investigators do their job. 

Rain Dove said that they were going to go to the police with these texts once we were done speaking no matter what. But that they wanted me to be aware of them so that I may be able to take further actions. I responded with “You have to. You must.” I wasted no time. It wasn’t hard to say or support. What was hard was the shell shock of the realisation that everything the MeToo movement stood for was about to be in jeopardy. An hour after our conversation was finished Rain Dove confirmed that they had turned over the texts and were in conversation with officers. Almost 48 hours later the texts were in the press. 

 I had introduced Rain Dove to Asia Argento last month, three days after the passing of Anthony Bourdain. I was with Asia to comfort and support her. Rain Dove came to support us both. It was an emotionally chaotic time and Rain Dove suggested we go to Berlin for a couple days to take the mourning out of Asia’s home and into a neutral space. So we did. While in Berlin Asia had mentioned that she was being extorted for a large sum of money every month by someone who was blackmailing them with a provocative image. No one in the room knew who the extortionist was. Now we know it to be a reference to this case. 

 Rain Dove continued on communicating with Asia occasionally after meeting her- and their conversations have been their own. I know Rain is a person to whom many high profile entities consult when they are experiencing social pressures because Rain is good at guiding them through the research confrontation, rehabilitation, and solution process. While they are a person who is good at keeping a secret for those dedicated to making things right- they are also justice driven. So it was not a surprise to me that I received that call and the messages from them. I’ve referred to Asia in the past as “My Ride or Die” and said very clearly that their friendship comes first. I know that coming to me with those messages must have been hard for Rain because of that so I commend them for their bravery. 

 To the people who have checked in with me to see if I’m alright- the answer is thank you and Yes. I’ll be fine. Its sad to lose a friend connection, but whats even more sad is what happened to Jimmy Bennet. Whether or not the extortion case is true- it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. It is the type of thing I fight against alongside so many. The reason I haven’t released a statement is because I’ve frankly been extremely humbled by this event. I had to take a step back and realise that in my own activism while I fight hard with passion- I need to evolve. In the past I have been occasionally angry. As a victim I was justified in fiery feelings. But I know that those accused are the friends, parents, and family members of other people. There absolutely should be no leeway or tolerance for sexual assault. Hard stop. NONE. Victims also shouldn’t be told how they should react or what they should say about their abusers. However as allies to the victim and voyeurs of an event we should find a better way to balance support of the victim with due process for the accused. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. This week especially has made me come to terms with the fact that we all have a lot of growing to do, including myself. 

 At this current moment it may be easy to focus on the drama of the situation. The conspiracy. But the real focus should be on supporting justice. Supporting honesty. And supporting each other. We can not let this moment break the momentum of a movement that has freed so many people. We must use it to allow us to become stronger. More compassionate. More aware. And More organised. 

 Asia you were my friend. I loved you. You’ve spent and risked a lot to stand with the MeToo movement. I really hope you find your way through this process to rehabilitation and betterment. Anyone can be be better- I hope you can be, too. Do the right thing. Be honest. Be fair. Let justice stay its course. Be the person you wish Harvey could have been.

2 thoughts

  1. I agree with your husband. A while ago, I watched a program about men who had been abused by priests as children. One of the narrators had been abused and then turned into a pedophile. They said that, unfortunately, it wasn’t uncommon.

    1. Yes, I once knew a psychologist who treated pedophiles as part of their rehabilitation. He said abusers abuse. Asia felt disempowered and was, perhaps, emotionally stunted as a result of the assault. I think it’s even more complicated for women who offend.

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