The sun pushes the clouds up extending them way above my head
Pink light spreads like layers of
cotton candy across the sky.
I’m not angry with him
I don’t blame him
I don’t ever want to be near him again.
I want to be with him again.
I cannot see my life without him
My heart told me to wait
And then asked me if it had ever been wrong before.
No, it had been right before.
It told me to get away from him all along.
But now it’s changed its mind.
I woke to your voice clinging to my thoughts
a web of tangled conversations
shaken loose by the storm in my head.
You once told me I thought like a man
Not the thing you want to hear from a lover
But then, you’d have known that.
It’s my birthday today and I know you remember
I feel your thoughts upon my body so dense I can
barely lift myself from the bed.
But I do not call and I wonder if you will
Like I wonder this time each year.
I’m relieved when you don’t but
your absence is so near it’s like that first day
I woke and remembered you were gone.
I always knew we were made for heartbreak
You and I
It never stopped me from loving
Drive to work
But I have this sense I left my body back in bed.
I want to tell you that. You’d get it.